The Real World

Let’s just take a moment and consider the fact that since I left Cranleigh House, nothing else is quite funny enough.

All other normal life experiences pale in comic comparison. I have some work for the next 3 weeks with my aunty’s work, doing general admin and things, to give me a bit of moolah while I figure out my next move. Yesterday I spent a solid 10 hours entering data into a spreadsheet, mostly names like ‘Rajesh Kumpalapoori Vindaloo Abdul’. Eventually I sort of started making them up. I’ll blame it on my lazy eye and my consequent tendency to look at screens sideways.

So things have changed a little, as they are constantly doing when you are a person of no fixed abode. I no longer drink liver flush in the morning, because garlic breath amongst the general public does not go down well. One habit I haven’t been able to break is the green smoothies. They are weirdly addictive. My aunty can’t believe I can drink them first thing in the morning. I’m all like “mmmm, chunks of spinach”. Each to their own, right?

I did try to escape Cranleigh House without my enema bag. I was about to leave that morning and Katherine cried “oh! Rosie! You left your enema bag in the bathroom! I’ll get it for you”. Dammitttttttt. So it came with me, and we went on a romantic trip, train after train, house after house, until we reached Fetcham and I buried it in my bottom drawer. In several months I will be looking for something and curiously delve into that package, only to be rudely reminded of my shameful ventures in North Devon. Enema bag: intact, dignity: not so much. My body is probably heaving a sigh of relief, as I have reintroduced it to my old friends, Roast Lamb and Red Wine. Although I have to say, my tolerance for alcohol has diminished slightly. Which is fab, because now it doesn’t take much to get me on my merry way!

Tonight I’m off to Paris for a weekend of shenanigans! Or maybe walking tours and gallery visits. Even though I went there last year in September, there’s always more to see and do in Paris! Like cheese. There’s always cheese to see and do. We are just hoping for good weather. Good enough at least to wander the streets at night in less than five layers of clothing.

It feels like spring is here, which makes everything and everyone seem happier. After this weekend I will be able to plan my next trip, so things will get exciting again… I will do my best to get myself into some more awkward situations..

I’m missing my girl Kayla, she was my lifesaver down in Devon and now she’s hanging out in Croatia for a few months. We went to the beach on our last day there and took photos of each other doing yoga in our wet weather gear and gumboots. Sexual. Here are some pics: 20140313-221802.jpg

20140313-221809.jpg
Caution: blindingly white stomach
20140313-221815.jpg
A casual straddle

Devon brought out my inner weirdo, and I’m really missing wearing my baggy orange pants on a regular basis. On Tuesday I put on makeup for the first time in about 6 weeks. It was merely tinted moisturiser, but my face felt like it was suffocating so I promptly washed it all off. Now I am barefaced and I like it.

Anyhoo, I’m writing this from the Eurostar and I feel ashamed of all my gadgets so I’m going to read an actual book now… See ya folks!

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