Rehab.

Whoooeeeeeee.

I didn’t do an update yesterday on my progress because I couldn’t really move my body, let alone my brain. Life was hard yesterday.

Day Two was definitely the hardest day, I was feeling completely exhausted, shakey and nauseous. All of the toxins from 6 months of partying around Europe and Christmas shandies seemed to be coming out in my lovely face, which is not sexy. I had a good sleep for about two hours after the morning Sadhana, and missed the disgusting clay drink (thank the Lordy).

Probably the high point of my day was experiencing my first coffee enema. I say this sarcastically. I told my mother I was going to bite the bullet and do one, because it is apparently an important part of the detox program. She said; “OK, so long as you don’t talk about it on your blog..”

Sorry mum, just briefly, ITS VERY ODD. Mostly because as I was trying to relax and stare nowhere but the ceiling, a certain someone came into the room next to me and began loudly feeding the cat; “Here, puss puss puss! Come and get it!”.

There are no words.

Moving on from that enriching experience…. I have been consuming Liver Flush, Clay Milkshake, Green Shit (my name for wheatgrass, ginger, courgette, cucumber, and POTENT celery) with some minerals every morning. Then a large amount of salad for luncheon, perhaps with some sprouted nuts and home made hummus as a companion. Then in the afternoon another Clay Milkshake, more yoga and then a light dinner of soup and salad. So exciting.

Today’s dawn rising was not so bad, probably because I knew I would never have to do it again, ever. I even began to know some of the chanty words and belted out the tunes with the best of them. I think they were all slightly stunned that I was actually sitting upright, let alone participating in the chants. I quite enjoyed the yoga itself. The hardest Kriya was on Day Two, because between every exercise we had to lie down and do a short relaxation, then get up again and get physical. Apparently it was a Kriya for bowel health, as if we needed any more impacting on that area. Every time I began to relax and slide into happy sleepy sheepskin land, we were told to stand up again. It was essentially sleep torture.

So now it is Sunday night, Kayla and I did a yoga class this evening and then a laughter meditation. If you haven’t ever done this and feel like you need to release some tension… It’s the best thing. The Chopra Center does an online meditation course called 8 Weeks to Happiness, and on the last week they do a laughter meditation. For the first 5 minutes you listen to a group of people laughing manically, which made me laugh because it was so weird, so then Kayla started laughing at me laughing, then I started laughing at her weeping, then we both just lost it thinking about all the weird shit we’ve dealt with in the last three days. This place…. Sheesh.

I also am getting much better at my headstands! Today I managed to lift my legs slowly up without having to throw them at the wall to get them up. Then I balanced there for a while with no support. Must be all the weird sucky sucky abdominal exercises we’ve been doing in Kundalini.

Tomorrow I have a day off and am hopefully going hiking somewhere, weather dependent. To be honest I will probably just go regardless, gotta get out of the crazy house. I don’t think I’ve left the building for about 4 days, I am so pale I could be an axolotl. So cute.

I’m off to bed to sleep this weekend off, like a bad bad dream.

P.s. Today Katherine wore floral jeans, a Golden Fleece, a pink scarf wrapped around her midriff, and a white hat with two pom poms that make her shadow look like a baby teddy bear. She crazy, but she got style….

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